Book Review: Life As A Unicorn
Life As A Unicorn: A Journey From Shame To Pride And Everything In Between is the memoir of Amrou Al-Kadhi, AKA the most fabulous drag performer, Glamrou.
Growing up in Dubai and Iraq, Amrou had little-to-no opportunity to grapple with sexual identity. Eton also failed to offer such an opportunity (shock! horror!)
Critically, this book is about fluidity and about accepting that there is no one way to identify both religiously and sexually. It does so without ignoring the tremendous amount of pain and rejection that often comes first. The book is a window into Amrou’s experience of being both Muslim and being queer (which are not mutually exclusive), and finding a sense of identity through moving away from rigid gender conformities.
Amrou delves into British Islamaphobia and the self-hate which manifested when they tried to assimilate, as well as the way Iraq is depicted in society, media and in film. In an art class focused on finding “one’s true self”, Amrou was encouraged to explore the violence of “his people” back “home”, instead of their struggle with sexuality and being shamed by family and culture; as a young, talented actor, Amrou was considered for roles such as terrorist” and “terrorist’s son”; at Eton, Amrou endured taunts that they had gotten lost at the “bazaar”.
Despite what can only be described as a traumatic, chaotic start to life, a unicorn emerges.
From Babble With Love
Meet Pamela Power, South African author, scriptwriter and our newest Babbler.
Words by Megan Thomas
Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone. It’s a bit of a strange day, which leaves those without romantic prospects feeling rubbish and those with romantic prospects wondering if they can get away with celebrating a week later when the chocolates cost normal prices again. But putting the commercial aspects of Valentine’s Day aside, a day which celebrates love - in all its forms - is something we can get behind. We love love. You should spend today celebrating love in all its forms, and here are some books to help you do that.
1. Uncoupling by Lorraine Brown
Next week Thursday, we’ll be publishing our latest Babble interview with author Lorraine Brown. She spent her childhood feigning doing her homework while actually tucking into the Sweet Dreams teen romance series by Janet Quin-Harkin, so it’s only fitting that her debut novel is a modern romance set in the “city of love”, Paris.
Uncoupling tells the story of a young woman on a train to Amsterdam - except she doesn’t realise that there are two sections of the train, one of which goes to Paris when the train uncouples. Naturally, she ends up on the section headed to Paris without her partner, who’s cruising along to Amsterdam. But when she meets a young, rude-but-not-actually-rude Parisian who has made the same mistake as her, she can’t resist a tour of the city he calls home before the next train to Amsterdam.
Our protagonist has spent years contorting herself to match the person she thinks she should be, denying herself her dreams and passions for fear of failure and due to a total lack of self-confidence, and so while Uncoupling tells a story of romantic love, it is also a reminder to love yourself and to believe in your abilities. The rest will follow.
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2. Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton
At its core, Everything I Know About Love is Dolly Alderton’s love letter to her friends, and a reminder that the love shared between friends is so powerful: the kind that stays true even if romantic love fails us.
It’s a memoir which tells of her experiences of love and the perceptions she has had of love at various stages in her life, including when she was a dating columnist for The Sunday Times in her 20’s. From the hopeless teenage crushes to the age of internet dating, Dolly realised going into her 30’s that the only constant throughout was a deep love for her friends, particularly female friendship, and the sisterhood that has afforded her.
However, if you’d prefer to focus on romantic love (of the disastrous variety), Dolly’s fiction debut Ghosts will haunt you with the realities of online dating, while also reminding you that real, uncomplicated love comes from many places. It also offers a touching account of parental love, and the experience of watching someone you love suffer.
3. How To Carry Fire by Christina Thatcher
Babbler Christina Thatcher’s poetry anthology, How To Carry Fire, is a powerful exploration of many different types of love. How To Carry Fire is a triumphant crescendo of the fiery intensity of “unconditional” love, which is poetically explored through coming to terms with the death of her father, whose troubled life tested the elasticity of familial love. It explores marital love, with poems like “Husband, When You Go” and “On Our Friends’ Divorce” displaying love’s complexity and depth, and the heart-warming “Knowing You” and “How To Love A Gardener”. It also deals with the love which Christina has developed for her new home in Cardiff, Wales. Ultimately, to call Christina’s work a book of love poems would be entirely accurate, but not in the way that you might have imagined.
4. Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte
Oh, but who doesn’t love a story which erodes the line between “love” and “obsession”? This is where it becomes really important to acknowledge that Wuthering Heights can be a “love story” (it’s considered one of the Great Victorian Romance), but not a romantic story. Or at least, we’ve got to nod towards the fact that digging up your lover’s grave and/or haunting them after your death is a very specific type of gothic romance. That said, while Wuthering Heights isn’t necessarily the most relatable portrayal of love, there’s something to be said for how it honestly deals with the multiplicity of the emotion: as something that can exist where it shouldn’t, in spite of one’s better judgement, and in a selfish, ultimately destructive way.
5. Live A Little by Howard Jacobson
Live A Little tells the story of two stubborn, arguably dislikable people falling madly in love… in their 90’s. In the 90 years before Shimi and Beryl met, they lived lives of varying degrees of adventure, guilt and shame, and yet in the frailty of their remaining years they are able to find something that resembles love.
Beryl stitches tapestries of morbid jokes and gives her carers grief, grasping at anecdotes from her life as they slip from her head with increasing speed. Shimi’s walking routes centre around the public toilets for his weakening bladder, and he reads cartomancy cards at the Chinese restaurant he lives above, desperately trying to forget the sins of his past in spite of his uncharacteristically impeccable memory. All the while, Howard Jacobson is stitching tapestries of love at least glamorous but most real.
6. Little Women by Louisa May Alcott
We’ll finish off this round-up with a very powerful love which has unbelievably far-reaching, sturdy boundaries: sibling love. It’s a confusing kind of love, especially when you consider parental love and the level to which your siblings can drive you mad, but it is unwavering. Sharing a childhood with someone creates a crazy-powerful bond, as does having a relationship to which you can return no matter what. Little Women might have other things going on like a civil war, useless husbands, babies and some of the most bloodthirsty sisterly fights in literature, but the March sisters’ unquestionable devotion for one another is the real deal.
Merry Christmas from Babble
Meet Pamela Power, South African author, scriptwriter and our newest Babbler.
Words by Megan Thomas
Instead of thinking of a new and interesting way to say what an unprecedented-unusual-unexpected year it has been, we reckon babbler Gary Raymond got it spot on when describing 2020: “Every year you go, This must be the worst year ever and then the New Year goes, Hi guys, I’m here!” Shall we all agree now not to jinx it? Let’s focus on all our favourite things about this time of year instead.
Between the team at Babble and some of our babblers, we’ve compiled all our favourite Christmassy activities that you can enjoy whatever your country’s restrictions. All links included in this article earn Babble a small commission at no extra cost to you.
We feel it’s our duty to say this as early as possible in this post: Gary Raymond does not hate Christmas movies. He loves them, in fact. He just hates Love Actually, and the “mythical status” it has at Christmastime. He loves Christmas as a whole - in the introduction (which reads kind of like a disclaimer) of How Love Actually Ruined Christmas: (Or Colourful Narcotics), Gary tells us how as a child, he would physically tremble with excitement for Christmas Day. Once you know this, it makes a lot more sense that he’d respond to the notion that “it’s not Christmas until you watch Love Actually” with such literary commitment.
Now for the exciting part: what Christmas art does Gary like? Given that he’s a film critic, a presenter on The Review Show for BBC Radio Wales and editor of Wales Arts Review, it’s probably worth taking notes (especially if you agree with his sentiments about Love Actually). In order of preference, Gary’s favourite Christmas movies are: Scrooged, It’s A Wonderful Life, Trading Places, The Holiday and The Family Man. When it comes to which music is filling Gary with cheer, it’s It’s Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas by Bing Crosby, Christmas Wrapping by The Waitresses, Just Like Christmas by Low, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town by Bruce Springsteen and Black Christmas by Poly Styrene.
Pamela Power might not have written a Christmas book, but that is not to say she doesn’t have plenty to say about this time of year. In her words, “I should not have Googled this as now I cannot choose. And I refuse to give just one. So these are SOME of my faves.” Pamela likes to hear O Holy Night chiming on Christmas (or singing it, whichever is most convenient), one of her favourite movies is How To Survive Christmas, and her late mother in law’s recipe for pecan nut balls are a Christmas menu staple. Not to mention, Pamela makes a mean eggnog.
This is the #GoSeeDoSouthAfrica book tree, a project Pamela and her creative daughter (A.K.A Christmas elf @rubyrayart) put together, and its branches are looking particularly healthy this year - we can spot A Family Affair by babbler Sue Nyathi, A Promised Land by Barack Obama, 2020 Booker shortlister Real Life by Brandon Taylor as well as Reset Rebuild Reignite by Pavlo Phitidis. Why not see how many of them you’ve read, and then read the ones you haven’t?
When Sarah Wragg was on Babble, she was talking mostly about ghosts, given her debut poetry anthology, Ghost Walk, is a collection of spooky stories. But she has happily traded in the ghouls for the reindeer and shared with us some of her all time favourite Christmassy stuff. You won’t find Sarah without a Christmas tree, fairy lights, chestnuts, cheese and wine and though this year might be disrupting her love for Christmas parties, blasting her favourite Christmas songs is well within the rules. Sarah loves Fairytale Of New York by The Pogues, Merry Xmas Everybody by Slade and I Believe In Father Christmas by Greg Lake.
Ghost Walk was published by The Hedgehog Poetry Press, and they’ve also been getting into the celebratory spirit by sharing all of the poets and their collections that they have published in 2020. Check out The Year Of The Hog to see the words this small but wonderful press have curated this year.
Lauren’s family in the US aren’t really big drinkers, so you can imagine the fun surprise she had when she had a British Christmas at her ex’s mum’s house where the beloved tradition of champagne at breakfast was in play. Lauren loves having a laugh on Christmas, so she spends time watching Saturday Night Live skits to set that wheel in motion. Her favourite clip of all time is Dysfunctional Family Christmas:
Tim Ewins got us through lockdown by reading us chapters from his book, We Are Animals, which he then does for us in his Babble interview - in the style of Whitney Houston. Yeah, you’re going to want to watch that. His favourite Christmas pastime is watching The Muppets Christmas Carol, listening to One More Sleep by Leona Lewis, and making mince pies to share with people. Tim’s little boy’s favourite Christmas thing is simply the thought of Santa - cute!
At least, those are Tim’s usuals. But he has realised this year that there’s another key factor. He said: “To be honest though, this year really has just shown us that we like seeing people. A large number of my family live on the other side of the country, and we’ll miss them this year a lot.”
The Babble Team
While you’ve met co-founder and presenter Megan Thomas in our various Babble interviews, you won’t have seen the behind-the-scenes team, though we’re sure you know full well that they’re there and how important they are to the smooth running and distribution of our show.
Megan’s all about the Christmas classics when it comes to movies, but she loved 2019’s addition to the festive film mix, Klaus. Megan’s favourite Christmas song is Stop The Cavalry by Jona Lewis, and she only stops eating mince pies and stuffing when it runs out (but not at the same time). She does not share Tim Ewins’ love for sharing them.
Robert Simcox, Babble’s co-founder, sound engineer and audio editor, loves Elf and, like babbler Sarah Wragg, favours Slade’s Merry Xmas Everybody. Because a direct quote always says it best: “Gotta love the pigs in blankets!”
Our marketing and brand director Charlotte Ross Stewart loves The Grinch (the Jim Carrey one, of course). She can be found enjoying Christmas in South African style with a beef fillet cooked on the braai (that’s a barbeque or even barbie, depending on where in the world you live).
There are multiple potential outcomes from reading this post, from songs stuck in your head to lengthened to-do-lists, but the main thing we’d like to get across is simple: Merry Christmas, well done for getting through 2020, and see you next year.
Introducing South African Author Pamela Power
Meet Pamela Power, South African author, scriptwriter and our newest Babbler.
Words by Megan Thomas
This week on Babble is all-things-Pamela-Power, South African author and scriptwriter from Johannesburg. You can listen to the podcast episode, watch the video version of the interview, or you can stay right here and read some reviews of Pamela’s books so you know what you’re in for. Fans of Liane Moriarty will love Pamela - her books are like the South African version of Big Little Lies, which is set in monied Australia (although it was Americanised for the HBO series).
What do you make of giving 1-star reviews? Pamela shares her thoughts on trashing books in her interview. There’s no risk of that here, though, because unlike one of the first reviews Pamela read about her debut novel, which her editor forwarded to her before reading the whole thing, we love Pamela’s books.
Published by Penguin South Africa
Anything written by Pamela retains the crisp, quirky commentary that was first introduced in Ms Conception. It cuts a slice of life from the lives of an elite minority of leafy Johannesburg: private-schools, suburban-living, competitiveness, judgement, occasional domestic bliss... and a front row seat to watch it disintegrate. She also unpacks the emotional toll that the trials and tribulations of early parenthood take on marriages and relationships.
In her Babble interview, Pamela says she wrote Ms Conception, in part, because she was so horrified by what being a mother entailed. She depicts the ins, outs, and leaky boobs of motherhood to the backdrop of middle-class life in suburbia, featuring a cast of overbearing parents and overachieving children.
Published by Clockwork Books
Things Unseen is a psychological thriller whose characters are embroiled in scandal, abuse and childhood trauma - the makings of a murder mystery, right? But it stays true to Pamela’s desire to poke fun at the mania involved in keeping up appearances - even in the wake of a murder (or perhaps especially in the wake of a murder).
It claws up the tapestry of seeming perfection and shows what’s rotting underneath. And trust me, things are rotting underneath. In true who-dun-it style, the fast-paced, quick-witted storylines keep you hooked throughout.
Published by Penguin South Africa
This is more similar to Ms Conception than Things Unseen (hence why Things Unseen was published by a different publisher), but it’s actually not that dissimilar at all when it comes down to it. There’s no murder, sure, but there is a 12-year-old girl who, after being announced as head girl of her private school, is pushed from the balcony… by another child.
But it’s less about the incident and more about Delilah, the mother and family of the girl who has been accused of pushing her. What I love about this is watching how a simultaneously serious yet frivolous situation ricochets around this insular society. We delve into the lives of the people involved, and hold a magnifying glass to their insecurities, and the kind of middle-class pressures that make it possible to read such an authentic, believable whodunit about little girls.
Book Review: Red At The Bone
At Babble, we aim to showcase the diverse, international talent that is out there at the moment, from the new to renowned, and provide a platform for artists during a pretty trying time. Nothing encapsulates our ethos quite like a debut - especially one like Red At The Bone by Jacqueline Woodson, a novel which tells the multigenerational stories of an African-American family at the turn of the 21st century.
There’s something very powerful about books which change perspective throughout, whilst telling the same story. There’s a lot to be said for novels, like Milkman by Anna Burns, for instance, where you emerge from the narrative of only one character having experienced the same things as them. It’s like you’ve been allowed access to their minds and become them between book ends. But then there are novels like Girl, Woman, Other by Bernardine Evaristo, or like Red At The Bone, where you have the same intimacy but with an overarching story and you’ve gained insider status by hearing it from all angles. There’s really nothing like feeling immense sympathy and fury for one character, only for it to be flipped on its head when you hear the other side of the story. “My side, your side, and the truth” springs to mind.
The story follows different generations of one African-American family from Brooklyn. At first, a happy, nuclear, middle-class, church-going three: Sabe and Po’Boy, and their daughter Iris. But at 15, this all changes when Iris tells her parents she’s pregnant – and that she’s keeping the baby, welcoming Melody into the mix. Iris’ boyfriend, Aubrey, raised by a single mother with little else but love and food tokens, slips into the paternal role very naturally. Through each character, their pasts, presents and futures, we see their lives unfurl and then intertwine.
This is where multiple perspectives become one of Jacqueline Woodson’s great assets. You never feel – or rather, are never allowed to feel – set in one opinion of a character. Swapping from fury with Iris for leaving Aubrey to raise Melody while she goes to college, to a heart-wrenching empathy for a young girl not equipped to make that sort of decision. From admiration for Aubrey and his sacrifices, to a sense of pitying curiosity as to whether he lacks ambition or whether it was forced upon him by his circumstances. Not to mention the constant awareness of the fact that if the roles were reversed, we would never be as harsh on Aubrey as we are on Iris. It seems that authors are grappling more and more with how a woman’s life does not pivot around motherhood, nor is it the only place from where she can find meaning.
Red At The Bone is like walking a tightrope that you can’t actually fall from, but you have to walk it anyway. By the last page, refreshingly, you are still not inclined to take sides or judge anyone for their choices, but rather just feel a sadness for every character, their struggles, the repercussions of their choices and the choices they were never offered. Red At The Bone is a profoundly simple reminder that life is too complex to make outright judgments, and a call for compassion.
